The Gang Gets Ready For Valentine's Day

As you're probably acutely aware, this Saturday is Valentine's Day. To help you, our beloved readers, prepare yourselves for whatever chandelier-rocking romantic encounters you have planned, the staff got together to discuss our favorite love songs.

Oh, you're all alone? No worries, we talked abut that too.

You're all our Valentines. Thanks for reading Earhole. Things will get better and you're an incredible person, we promise.

squints [6:29 PM] sup team
importer [6:32 PM] wazzzaaaaappppppp
spinellj [6:32 PM] ayyyyy
treske [6:33 PM] Yo
importer [6:34 PM] Soooooooo everyone's least favorite holiday is right around the corner
importer [6:34 PM] Valentine's Day
squints [6:35 PM] thanks for reminding me hoss
importer [6:35 PM] Ethan, we've discussed this: we strong, independent men than doesn't need a women to define us!
treske [6:36 PM] I mean... I would have to go Columbus Day as my least favorite...
importer [6:37 PM] That being said, ladies... sup?
squints [6:37 PM] that's a staffchat for another time, i'll defend columbus day to the death. without colonization we wouldn't have neil young's "cortez the killer"
squints [6:37 PM] ANYWAY
spinellj [6:37 PM] columbus day is bottom tier holidaying
treske [6:37 PM] A bold move Cotton...
spinellj [6:37 PM] fwiw
treske [6:37 PM] lol
treske [6:38 PM] but yes, let's talk V-Day
spinellj [6:38 PM] its good for car sales and indignation
squints [6:38 PM] the staffchat we chose for today are our favorite love songs. couple different categories picked out
squints [6:38 PM] so since we're all obviously feeling slightly negative right now, let's start it off with BEST BREAKUP SONGS
importer [6:39 PM]

squints [6:40 PM] great choice there porter. rod stewart was a badass back in the day, people forget that
treske [6:40 PM] Ballsy, I must say. I always forget about Rod Stewart
importer [6:41 PM] Love this song. "You lured me away from home just to save you from being alone/You stole my heart and thats what really hurt"
importer [6:42 PM] And the jingly jangly guitar is sharply cut through with the pain in Rod Stewart's voice
importer [6:42 PM] Always loved thst
squints [6:42 PM] i ain't mad at it
squints [6:43 PM] what defines a great breakup song to me is how much i want to listen to it when i come home from bars alone, and when i come home from bars alone, i want to listen to alt-country
squints [6:43 PM] so with that:
treske [6:43 PM] lol
treske [6:43 PM] emo-drunk?
importer [6:43 PM] hahahah
importer [6:44 PM] Everyone's been there
importer [6:44 PM] Maybe not the alt-country but I'm smoking what you're rolling
squints [6:44 PM] american aquarium are from raleigh, i've seen them live a couple times and every time i do, EVERYONE somehow knows the words to this song
squints [6:44 PM] universally relatable message: i hope someone hurts you like you've hurt me
treske [6:45 PM] for the vindictive in errbody! I like it
squints [6:45 PM] and one of my all-time favorite lyrical barbs: "you fuck like a woman, but you love like a little girl"
importer [6:46 PM] this is my first listen. I need some whiskey rn
squints [6:46 PM] women without whiskey? whiskey's hard to beat.
squints [6:47 PM] yes i realize i just quoted drive-by truckers. that's just where i'm at right now
importer [6:47 PM] we're all in a dark place
treske [6:47 PM] But yes, songs that make you feel desolate and lonely at those witching hours are preeeeety excellent
squints [6:47 PM] what do you have for us, treskdawg?
treske [6:48 PM] I gotchu dog. I listened to this with my college roommate like 15 times in a row one time... We were both hung up on our high school gfs... It got emotional
importer [6:49 PM] shouts to Treske's high school gf
treske [6:49 PM] SHOUTS
treske [6:49 PM]

squints [6:50 PM] solid solid pick. when it comes to lyrics of pure desperation, "we can even have an open relationship if you must" might be GOAT
treske [6:50 PM] Intense British accents? Talk/Singing? The desire to drink as much Guinness as you can to get searingly drunk and then realizing that you can't drink that much Guinness? It is perfect (edited)
treske [6:51 PM] But yeah, that is too much. "I got nuffin', absolutely nuffin'" is pretty intense
importer [6:52 PM] For a second, I thought the name of it was "The Streets Dry Your Eyes"
squints [6:52 PM] i'm imagining mike skinner, in lieu of kleenex or a napkin, just rubbing his eyes on the sidewalk going like 'WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING'
squints [6:52 PM] dammit porter i don't want to laugh right now
treske [6:52 PM] hahaha
importer [6:53 PM] hahaha I'm sorry
importer [6:53 PM] damn this song is so sad
squints [6:54 PM] i like to think the song is eminem's "kim" channelled through the politesse and tact of the british
treske [6:54 PM] Kim with tea and biscuits
squints [6:55 PM] what a world
squints [6:55 PM] jake, you around? what do you have for us?
importer [6:55 PM] I have a bonus one after spinellj
squints [6:55 PM] just hit us w/ it now
importer [6:56 PM] This one makes me laugh because we used to have middle school dances with this song
importer [6:56 PM]

spinellj [6:56 PM] The best break up song of all time is Caroline, no
squints [6:56 PM] hahaha
treske [6:57 PM] WOWOW... Yes Porter! I haven't heard this song in a minute!
squints [6:57 PM] i think that song is where i learned the word "fuck"
spinellj [6:57 PM] Of course my SO comes home at exactly 630 and I need to make her dinner -_-
squints [6:58 PM] haha yeah, probably a bad idea to get hung up on breakup songs
importer [6:58 PM] is it time to lighten the mood?
squints [6:58 PM] nope
treske [6:58 PM] I honestly feel like I am living that moment when a loved one arrives at an airport. I am so happy this is back in my life
squints [6:58 PM] before we go positive, let's do BEST UNREQUITED LOVE SONGS
squints [6:59 PM] for me, the only choice is:
squints [7:00 PM] the first time i heard this, i thought it was a nice, folky love song. and then i made it more than a minute in
importer [7:01 PM] oh man, this took a turn
squints [7:01 PM] this song gets so dark. the repetition of the words "i want you" with the way the other lyrics get increasingly bitter and jealous...super haunting
spinellj [7:02 PM] Sometimes by my bloody valentine OF COURSE
squints [7:02 PM]

treske [7:03 PM] This Costello is nuts. Those guitar twangs sound like something out of Twin Peaks
squints [7:04 PM] blood & chocolate is definitely my favorite costello record
squints [7:04 PM] also, great pick spinellj
treske [7:04 PM]

importer [7:04 PM] loved the acoustic guitar over the distorted, Jake
treske [7:05 PM] As a former fat kid... I feel like I am truly an expert at this subject
importer [7:05 PM] Yo SAME
squints [7:05 PM] yeah it's definitely noteworthy that MBV's gentlest song still involves like ten fuzz pedals
treske [7:05 PM] I had to pick something that really connected to me.... I WISH I WAS SPECIAL
squints [7:05 PM] careful treske, thom yorke's gonna boycott our blog
treske [7:06 PM] This song soundtracked many a Redwall reading and late-night nacho guzzlings
treske [7:06 PM] *weeps into cheesy deliciousness*
squints [7:06 PM] nachos are a vicious, vicious cycle
importer [7:06 PM] Shouts to Brian Jacques
treske [7:07 PM] No staff chat is complete without that
treske [7:07 PM] What about you Porter? What you got?
importer [7:07 PM] We forgot a huge one
importer [7:07 PM]

squints [7:07 PM] speaking of things no staffchat is complete without...
importer [7:07 PM] the ultimate.
treske [7:07 PM] ALLAHHUAKBAR
treske [7:08 PM] yeah... if I ever have a truly awful day, I just think to the high note he hits in this song and my day gets a little brighter
importer [7:08 PM] "It's a bad religion, being in love with someone who could never love you"
squints [7:08 PM] dammit frank knows how to make me feel
treske [7:09 PM] Late and off topic, but this song is gorgeous spinellj
treske [7:09 PM] great call
importer [7:09 PM] he nails in all in in three minutes: sadness, loneliness, anger, confusion
importer [7:10 PM] "Only bad religion could have me feeling the way I do"
importer [7:10 PM] We all know that feel, Frank. Thanks for sharing.
squints [7:10 PM] thanks, frank.
squints [7:11 PM] so now that we're all in a sufficiently dark place, maybe we should lighten it up. time for BEST ACTUAL LOVE SONGS
spinellj [7:11 PM] God only knows
spinellj [7:11 PM] Ok we're done
importer [7:11 PM] Thank you
squints [7:11 PM]

importer [7:12 PM] Still gets me every time I listen to it
spinellj [7:12 PM] Shelter from the storm by Dylan
squints [7:12 PM] i think what makes "god only knows" so powerful is how realistic an approach it is
spinellj [7:12 PM] Even though its more of a double entendre about the artistic process
importer [7:13 PM] Speaking of it, what are your thoughts on the BBC commercial on it that came out a few months ago?
importer [7:13 PM]

squints [7:13 PM] "yeah, we might not always have each other and that's cool, because it takes an omnipotent amount of knowledge for me to even think about what that would be like"
treske [7:14 PM] so true
spinellj [7:14 PM] Its all Carl on that song because they couldn't get Brian to hit the harmonies iirc
treske [7:14 PM] also, yikes at that BBC thing. I am so over Pharrell. Go produce dope shit for Clipse and stop with your incessant omnipresence
squints [7:15 PM] "pharrell only knows"
importer [7:15 PM] He and his capris
squints [7:15 PM] alright i have to take off for like five minutes, but for what it's worth, mine is van morrison's "into the mystic"
spinellj [7:15 PM] Its just so emotionally open and vulnerable and wistful
squints [7:15 PM]

spinellj [7:15 PM] Im still gushing over god only knows btw
treske [7:16 PM] It is one of the most beautiful songs that exists... this is true
importer [7:16 PM] Van Morrison can write a song, man
treske [7:16 PM] Uh oh dudes... Treske is getting into his feels... Getting into his feels hard
treske [7:17 PM] And when treske gets into his feels, he talks in third person
squints [7:17 PM] jk i'm still here. such a beautiful song, all about what's eternal and spiritual and everlasting, and experiencing that with someone else
squints [7:17 PM] someone pass the nachos plz
squints [7:19 PM] treske, porter, what are y'all thinking?
importer [7:19 PM] I'm torn between two. Treske, you go first
treske [7:20 PM] Mine is more about how dazed and love-struck you can feel with the one you love. Also, the little world that exists between only you two.
treske [7:20 PM]

treske [7:20 PM] "I'm getting lost in your curls"
treske [7:21 PM] I love this song so much.
spinellj [7:21 PM] BLUISH HHHHHHH
treske [7:21 PM] It is strange and spiritual and hazy and weird
spinellj [7:21 PM] I adore that song
treske [7:21 PM] Just like real love
treske [7:22 PM] Like I swoon every time I listen to it
importer [7:22 PM] This is beautiful
treske [7:24 PM] What you got for us Porter?
importer [7:24 PM] Okay I'm cheating but I have to do two
importer [7:24 PM] first,
importer [7:24 PM]

treske [7:24 PM] hahaha
importer [7:25 PM] Paul nails that fear that goes with love
importer [7:26 PM] Middle school Porter also ate nachos to this song
importer [7:26 PM] Anyway, the second one
importer [7:27 PM]

squints [7:28 PM] great pick
treske [7:28 PM] isn't that more unrequited love?
treske [7:28 PM] not to be a hater
importer [7:28 PM] maybe it is
treske [7:28 PM] amazing song, don't get me wrong
importer [7:29 PM] it could be an early relationship type love song
squints [7:29 PM] it's our generation's "love the one you're with" IMO
importer [7:29 PM] "I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)" by Stevie came in third
importer [7:30 PM] "Cupid's Chokehold" by Gym Class Heroes came in last
squints [7:30 PM] stevie wonder's not blind guys, we should talk about that later
importer [7:30 PM] hahaha TRUTHER!
squints [7:30 PM] < inrefutable
squints [7:30 PM] anyway, we're going over time slightly so let's wrap
squints [7:31 PM] the category we've all been waiting for. BEST SONGS TO MAKE LOVE TO
squints [7:31 PM] there's only one right answer for this and i have it so i'll go last
treske [7:31 PM] the suspense!
spinellj [7:31 PM] Wait before that
importer [7:31 PM] Hey mom, thanks for reading our blog!
spinellj [7:32 PM] River deep mountain high is all time good
squints [7:32 PM] sorry. BEST SONGS TO FUCK TO
treske [7:32 PM] well there is a huge difference Ethan
importer [7:32 PM] so true
treske [7:32 PM] Are we doing make love or fuck?
spinellj [7:32 PM] Best songs to fuck to
treske [7:32 PM] Easy
spinellj [7:33 PM] Out of my head, into my bed- the reatards
squints [7:33 PM] main reason i want to move on is because jake is showing us all up at picking love songs, WHILE cooking for his girlfriend. completely different league than us plebes
spinellj [7:33 PM] Lets call it love- sleater Kinney
treske [7:33 PM]

squints [7:33 PM] motion to ban treske from all future staffchats about serious things
importer [7:33 PM]

treske [7:33 PM] hahahaha
treske [7:33 PM] ok true
treske [7:33 PM] I have mine
treske [7:34 PM]

treske [7:34 PM] That is my serious answer
treske [7:34 PM] It is amazing and romantic and amazing
importer [7:34 PM] Top 3 songs on Voodoo IMO
squints [7:35 PM] i ain't mad
spinellj [7:35 PM] Another all time break up song right quick: train in vain
importer [7:35 PM]

importer [7:36 PM] You're lying if you disagree
squints [7:36 PM] i must be a liar
spinellj [7:37 PM] Wicked games ofc
squints [7:37 PM] first, honorable mention: the entirety of Within and Without by Washed Out
squints [7:37 PM] if the record cover doesn't do it, the smooth, sensual, dreamy tunes will
squints [7:38 PM] but when you're in the mood to get serious, the only answer is:
squints [7:38 PM]

importer [7:38 PM] hahaha
squints [7:39 PM] if you're skeptical it's because you've never given it an attempt
importer [7:39 PM] The Gang Explains: Why "The Lemon Song" is the Best of All Time
spinellj [7:39 PM] Second chance by c aribou is a fantastic making love song
squints [7:39 PM] next time you want to feel like a nordic warrior, put this on and just let john bonham and jimmy page wingman for you. just don't fall out of bed
squints [7:40 PM] and yes porter, that sounds like a great staffchat for next week
treske [7:40 PM] perfect fellas
treske [7:40 PM] been a good one
squints [7:40 PM] happy valentine's day everyone!
importer [7:40 PM] Thanks for reading, little sis!
spinellj [7:41 PM] Also moodymann
spinellj [7:41 PM] Ok im done
squints [7:41 PM] The Gang Presents: Best Songs Involving Lemons. Starring Led Zep and Gucci Mane
importer [7:41 PM] God I'm lonely