The Gang Is Guilty

Every week, we like to have a staff-wide conversation about a predetermined topic, which we then post here for your amusement. We've termed this #StaffChat. If you'd like to suggest a topic for us to talk about, let us know on our Twitter or Facebook pages.

Sometimes you feel guilty about things. Sometimes, these things are songs. This is what we talked about this week.

This is shorthand for saying that Ethan was pretty drunk and decided to make this about R. Kelly.


treske [10:10 PM] Yooooo. Well that was about as depressing as watching someone buy malt liquor at 9am
importer [10:11 PM] Context: UNC did not win tonight
importer [10:11 PM] but yes, shitty game
dkataja [10:12 PM] More context: I'm at a bar
importer [10:13 PM] rather than be depressed, tonight we're going to feel guilty
importer [10:13 PM] that's right, Earhole crew will be sharing our music guilty pleasures!
importer [10:15 PM] Who's going to get the ball rolling?
dkataja [10:17 PM] I have a high self worth so i'm never guilty about my music choices
dkataja [10:17 PM] Except for this one...
treske [10:19 PM]

dkataja [10:19 PM] So the first time I heard this song was with my sister
importer [10:19 PM] oh Darius...
dkataja [10:20 PM] We were listening to The Civil Wars, which I hadn't heard before. The album was good; I think it was a live acoustic album
importer [10:20 PM] So which one is your favorite?
dkataja [10:20 PM] This song came on directly after, and I thought it was a Civil Wars song. (Ridiculous in hindsight, I know)
squints [10:21 PM] sorry i'm in late. speaking of buying malt liquor at 9AM...
dkataja [10:21 PM] I started jamming along to it and was singing by the end
importer [10:21 PM] This video is priceless!
dkataja [10:22 PM] I told Lauren i liked the song. She said "Darren that's One Direction..."
treske [10:22 PM] When you get caught it really ruins things... That has happened many a time to me
dkataja [10:23 PM] I mean I couldn't back out at that point
squints [10:23 PM] yeah, you can't turn that around
importer [10:23 PM] So many times. Back when people would go through your iPod and pick the most embarrassing songs...
squints [10:23 PM] you're stuck going in one direction
squints [10:23 PM] :caruso:
importer [10:23 PM] YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
dkataja [10:25 PM] Side note: my sophomore year, someone's halloween costume was a shirt that said "NORTH NORTH NORTH NORTH"
dkataja [10:25 PM] He was One Direction
importer [10:25 PM] That's amazingly half-assed and I'm not even mad
treske [10:25 PM] lol
importer [10:25 PM] You guys
squints [10:25 PM] next year we could do that but just right it on our faces
squints [10:25 PM] that way we're one direction and also north face at the same time
dkataja [10:26 PM] Write
treske [10:26 PM] Aight... Im gonna hit you guys with a big one. Even in 8th grade I was guilty for this one
treske [10:26 PM]

importer [10:26 PM] hahahahahah yes!
dkataja [10:26 PM] YOOOOOOOOO
importer [10:26 PM] I will say
dkataja [10:26 PM] love that song
treske [10:26 PM] Pass the mascara and eyeliner now! ALSO CLOSE THE GODDAMN DOOR
importer [10:26 PM] their latest album had some jams
squints [10:27 PM] hashtag every time my roommates pee
importer [10:28 PM] I feel like Fall Out Boy used to be a guilty pleasure until recently. everyone's come out and liked their old stuff
importer [10:28 PM] Panic! is not like this, making this a wonderful selection
squints [10:28 PM] ah fallout boy. gimme one sec
dkataja [10:28 PM] Their new song about dancing like uma thurman is straight garbage
squints [10:29 PM] https://twitter.com/suzyv/status/554851042438168576
dkataja [10:29 PM] Hahaaaaa
squints [10:29 PM] i don't know why i find that tweet so funny
treske [10:29 PM] I was always team Panic... if that is even a thing. I just remember Fall Out Boy had a song on Madden
importer [10:30 PM] and NHL 06
importer [10:30 PM] jam city
squints [10:30 PM] madden the football game or madden the video game based on the lives of benji and joel madden?
treske [10:30 PM] oh shit... you just opened up another can of guilty worms
importer [10:30 PM] Good Charlotte, hot damn
importer [10:30 PM] middle school was a trip
treske [10:30 PM] Alright squints. Get at us
squints [10:31 PM] y'all know me. i am a remarkably self-assured and confident person
squints [10:31 PM] i love the things i love, and i don't feel uncomfortable about those things in the slightest
squints [10:31 PM] that said
squints [10:32 PM]

importer [10:32 PM] RIP ODB
importer [10:32 PM] wait a minute, shut up. they collaborated???
squints [10:33 PM] it's a real thing
treske [10:33 PM] UHHHHHHH THIS SONG. THE STANK FACE IS SO ON RIGHT NOW
squints [10:33 PM] i remember i was real young and asleep in the car on a long family road trip (my dad's a big mariah c fan) and this was on for ODB's verse and i was like "dad? since when are you down with the wu?"
importer [10:34 PM] I attest to the Mariah GP
importer [10:34 PM] (btw I'm all in on calling them GP's)
squints [10:34 PM] it's weird. i love ODB and i love tom tom club, but this just feels so wrong in a way that feels so right
importer [10:35 PM] she's got pipes though
importer [10:35 PM] her and Ari are in the class for me on guilty pleasures
treske [10:36 PM] Ari bangs doe
importer [10:36 PM] she definitely does
importer [10:36 PM] "Love Me Harder" man, i don't think we can consider that a guilty pleasure
squints [10:36 PM] i feel like this could turn into a whole nother staffchat on the topics of societal constructs of masculinity and how that plays into heteronormativity
squints [10:36 PM] all i'm saying is that this shit bangs and i don't feel comfortable about thinking that
importer [10:36 PM] Where's Maryam when we need her?!?
treske [10:37 PM] HAHA I was just thinking that
importer [10:37 PM] Okay guys, I'm ready to spill mine
squints [10:37 PM] uh oh
importer [10:38 PM] To preface, I will let you guys know that growing up I was big into acting. Did lots of plays and musicals, from elementary school all the way through high school and some college stuff too
importer [10:39 PM] To me, show tunes are the dopest
dkataja [10:39 PM] I like where this is going
dkataja [10:39 PM] CATS! The Musical
importer [10:39 PM] I could do a lot of things in this area, but ill settle here. I wrote a five page paper on this musical, and love this song
importer [10:39 PM]

squints [10:40 PM] http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/thuggerfortugger-a-modest-proposal-to-put-young-thug-in-the-rap-enhanced-cats-musical/
importer [10:40 PM] from the Tony-winning musical How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying
importer [10:41 PM] fun fact: Robert Morse, the lead in this show, is Bert Cooper in Mad Men
treske [10:41 PM] whoooooaaaaa.... mind grapes blown
importer [10:44 PM] Not to knock on theatre kids--my little sister is a musical theatre major at school-- but there's a lot of private listening on Spotify when my showtunes come on
dkataja [10:44 PM] I'd pay a premium to see porter's private listening history
treske [10:44 PM] haha I am not the biggest fan. But big ups
dkataja [10:45 PM] Update: at a different bar
importer [10:45 PM] TOPO?
treske [10:45 PM] I got another one for y'all. This is guilt in the sense that I GET DOWN to this and it is absolutely filthy
treske [10:45 PM]

dkataja [10:46 PM] Better: rec room
treske [10:46 PM] I am a huuuuuuge fan of ignorant rap
treske [10:46 PM] Sometimes there is just nothing better. Also, my housemate just texted me asking me if I was listening to this song.... LOL
importer [10:47 PM] good lord this song hahaha
treske [10:47 PM] S/O to the old dude holding the cardboard sign in that video
squints [10:47 PM] GUYS. URGENT
squints [10:47 PM] if you ever get involved with a girl named rebecca, don't play this. they don't think it's funny
importer [10:49 PM] I feel like there's a story here
squints [10:50 PM] ¯\(ツ)
treske [10:50 PM] Aight, hit us with another one squints
squints [10:53 PM]

treske [10:53 PM] I need some explanation on this one
importer [10:53 PM] same, Rolling Stones as a GP?
squints [10:54 PM] i love the stones, but this is a horrible song
squints [10:54 PM] deeply misogynistic, really troubling about jagger's view of women at the time
squints [10:54 PM] but that marimba melody is FIRE.
treske [10:55 PM] Yeah, I suppose you put them in the canon and call them untouchable but that deffffffinitely aint true
treske [10:55 PM] In that same vain...
treske [10:55 PM]

treske [10:55 PM] This song is sooooooooo stupid
treske [10:56 PM] But I love it
importer [10:56 PM] hhaaha fair fair
treske [10:57 PM] You got another one for us Porter?
importer [10:57 PM] I do, as a matter of fact
importer [10:57 PM] Every single version of this song
importer [10:57 PM]

importer [10:59 PM] I'll take all 27 chapters of this over Ignition Remix
treske [11:00 PM] Sometimes it can be reaaaaallly tough to weasel your way out of a closet. Especially when you have a million vocal runs to go on. Also, are is R. Kelly wasting his talents? Should he not be acting?
importer [11:00 PM] AND HE OPENED THE CLOSET!
squints [11:01 PM] AND THEN I PULLED OUT MY GUN
treske [11:01 PM] "I tried my best to put it on vibraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate"
treske [11:01 PM] amazing
importer [11:02 PM] "Don't you make a souuuuund, shit's going dooooooowwwwwwnnnnn"
treske [11:02 PM] Dude, I have never seen past the first chapter.... I am so hooked
treske [11:03 PM] Currently watching chapter 2
importer [11:03 PM]
here's 27 fucking chapters of them
importer [11:03 PM] They're all amazing
treske [11:03 PM] HE WAS A PASTOR?!?! SAY WHAT?!
treske [11:03 PM] My night is booked
treske [11:04 PM] But not before I reveal my last guilty pleasure....
importer [11:04 PM] Also noteworthy, Michael K. Williams is in a lot of these videos
dkataja [11:04 PM] treske: Octopus' Garden is a slickkkk song on guitar
squints [11:04 PM] earhole is dead. earhole is no more. from now on we're doing r kelly fan fiction exclusively
importer [11:05 PM] The Gang Binge Watches Trapped In The Closet
treske [11:05 PM] I am literally losing my shit to this right now
treske [11:05 PM] ITS A MAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN
squints [11:05 PM] I PULLED OUT A SWITCHBLADE. THERE WAS A CENTAUR IN THE CLOSET. WHY WAS THERE A CENTAUR IN THE CLOSEEEEEEEEET
treske [11:05 PM] hahahahaha
squints [11:05 PM] I THOUGHT IT WAS A MIDGET IN THE CLOSET
treske [11:05 PM] this is too much
treske [11:06 PM] k
treske [11:06 PM]

treske [11:06 PM] This is my last guilty pleasure.
treske [11:06 PM] Not out of guilt
squints [11:06 PM] a, robyn isn't a guilty pleasure and b, we're still talking about "trapped in the closet"
importer [11:06 PM] I will side with you. Robyn is my GIRL
squints [11:07 PM] HER MAN WAS HIDING IN THE CUPBOARD. SO I PULLED OUT MY GUN. AND HE SAID HE HAD DOCUMENTS PERTAINING TO BENGHAZIIIIIIIIIIII
importer [11:07 PM] Misquote: there are THIRTY THREE chapters!
treske [11:07 PM] But out of the pure fury that I have danced in front of a mirror by myself to this song. I shudder people to see the sweat that I have conjured by geeking out to this. Robyn has effectively been my spirit animal
squints [11:07 PM] SO I PUT DOWN MY GUN. AND ASKED FOR THE PASSWORD TO THE WI-FI
importer [11:07 PM] "Call Your Girlfriend" is an all-time favorite of mine
squints [11:08 PM] THE CENTAUR SAID HE HAD TO RESET HIS MODEM. AND THAT HIS MODEM WAS IN THE CLOSET
squints [11:09 PM] i am too drunk for this you guys
treske [11:09 PM] lololol
importer [11:09 PM] I think we hit the proverbial Game Breaker on that one
importer [11:11 PM] AND HE OPENED THE CLOSET
importer [11:11 PM] CLOSET
importer [11:11 PM] closet
squints [11:11 PM] CLOSET
importer [11:11 PM] closet
squints [11:11 PM] closet
treske [11:11 PM] Yeah... I'm outta here. Have a good one fellas
importer [11:12 PM] Best. Staff. Chat. Ever. Closet.
squints [11:12 PM] SO **treske WENT OUT OF THE CLOSET